Tonight I was looking to continue our trek around the South Metro looking for the best burgers available to those of us south of the river. We’ve already been to Bucky’s, Junior’s, and the House of Coates. I have plans to get to some others but for tonight’s adventure I did a quick search and found Gossips Bar & Grill in Farmington, MN home to one of the two Jucy Lucy restaurants in the South Metro.

Situated next to Longbranch Saloon and Eatery, this narrow bar is located amongst the other restaurants and businesses that congregate around downtown Farmington. On our first approach to this unassuming bar I noticed the large sign on the front door that read that they do not accept credit cards. I immediately posted to twitter my great displeasure with this fact and off we went to the nearest bank for cash. Unfortunately the Bremer bank branch did not want to give us any cash and after a message to Josh to locate the nearest US Bank ATM, we headed to EconoFoods to use them as a bank. With a pocketful of cash, most of it for tomorrow’s trip to the State Fair, we went back to Gossips, went in and sat down.

Gossips is narrow and small. It has a bunch of simple tables and a fairly good sized bar. They apparently have karaoke (that’s carry-oh-kee people, no cur-oh-kee is not correct, you will not convince me or the rest of the civilized world of any other pronunciation) on Wednesdays so if you ever plan to go there for anything, make sure you aren’t there between 9 and midnight. Everything is dark except the fluorescent green menus and the bright glow from the Golden Tee machines, Big Buck Hunter and the SilverStrike bowling. If the photos suck, you can blame the terrible lighting inside this place. They don’t seem to have a website but if you’re interested in viewing the contents of those bright green menus, you can check out a copy here courtesy of the Hastings Star Gazette.

Kim and I took a seat at one of the few low tables that sat near the front door and game machines. We were immediately asked for our drink order and I took a Newcastle and Kim grabbed a Coke. Our drinks were back to us in seconds but my Newcastle was skunky and I decided on a typical light domestic for my next beer instead. I came here expecting Kim to go with the Friday night two burger special for $2.20 but she chose a cheeseburger and fries instead. I went with the “Juicey Lucey” (sic) meal and chose onion rings (to give a comparison to those that we received at House of Coates).

Kim and I didn’t have to wait long for our food and they came served in baskets lined with paper. The buns were absolutely bland and boring. You could find better buns in a five day old bread aisle at a defunct Aldi store than you will at Gossips. The burgers are tiny. While we are sorta accustomed to the monsters we had at Bucky’s, House of Coates and Juniors, I would have expected a bit more out of Gossips than the mid-range sized burgers we were offered tonight.

Kim started with her fries. She said, “wow, the fries are good… They taste just like McDonalds!” Before I took a bite of my food I tried a fry and agreed. While it’s been quite some time since I’ve had McDonald’s, it tasted just like I remembered and if I didn’t know any better, I’d honestly believe you if you told me that they would run out the back and down the road to the McDonald’s to get orders of their fries for you. After that I dug into my burger. The Jucy Lucy was cooked all right. Most people think that it shouldn’t be anything but medium but as you well know, I don’t care if it’s mooing when I bite in. This had a little bit of pink and the cheese was oozing. If I had closed my eyes, I would have told you I was eating a double cheeseburger at Rotten Ronny’s, no shit. The onion rings were completely unremarkable for me but Kim said they were better than what we had at House of Coates. I think she’s crazy but she’s the expert on that side. Her cheeseburger was also unremarkable and we have no intention of ever returning here again.

When it was all said and done, we paid $20.53 for our meals, the two beers and the drink. I guess we’d have paid almost the same with two meal deals at Rotten Ronny’s, if they served beer. The pint of Newcastle was just under $5 and the Michelob Golden Light was $3.15. While the two burger baskets were $11, I just don’t find this place to be a great deal or a good meal. My recommendation? You’re really better off going somewhere else for your food and/or beer. I’m not quite sure how they feel that they’re going to live up to their self-proclaimed award of “hottest new sports bar south of the river” but based on what we had tonight, all I can say is, “the gossip around town is, this place won’t make it too much longer.”

Address:
Gossips
313 3rd S
Farmington, MN 55024-1352

Phone:
651-463-9367

See all the pictures from Gossips in Farmington on Flickr here.

Based on MSPD’s suggestion and review over at chow.com, I knew I had to get over to the House of Coates for some burgers. Knowing that both Kim and Josh are burger fans, I asked if they were up for it and after some answers in the affirmative, we were off. We took CR-46 all the way over to US-52, crossed the highway while watching the rain fall to the north.

We pulled into the nearly full lot and walked into the restaurant. It was quite a bit nicer than I could have envisioned by the outside and my generalizations of any of the businesses in the immediate area. It looked like any bar in Western WI or Northern MN. Definitely, as MSPD said, the quintessential snowmobiler bar.

We sat down at a table in the bar side and were quickly served by a friendly waitress who wasn’t as concerned that the ‘U’ in the “House of Coates” sign on the front of the restaurant was turned backwards as Josh seemed to be. Based on MSPD’s suggestion, Kim ordered their beer battered onion rings and we ordered two Big Canada Jacks and Swanee Burger. The Big Canada Jack sandwich comes with Canadian bacon and pepper jack cheese. The Swanee Burger included bacon, American cheese and the option of bleu cheese dressing but Kim decided against that tonight. Remembering that the waitresses might not give a flying rat’s ass how you want your burger cooked, I asked if they would cook it to order and the waitress said they would. I asked for it medium-rare and just got a quick head nod. Nice.

The burgers are touted as 1/2 pound hand pressed monsters. As we were waiting for our meals to arrive I watched as numerous tables (the restaurant was almost entirely full tonight) received what appeared to be large piles of cooked beef with buns. Right up our alley!

It took a bit for our burgers but the order of onion rings arrived first. Kim is a big rings fan but couldn’t find anything special about these. They were big, obviously homemade and not frozen, and full of grease. While I thought they were fine, Kim remained unimpressed. They had quite a list of appetizers and I was interested in their hot wings but didn’t end up ordering them.

After waiting quite a bit of time our burgers arrived simply enough. They come with nothing except a pickle slice but are absolutely fucking huge. I honestly can’t remember ever having a burger this fucking big. I added some ketchup to mine (they come with no toppings other than what is listed on the menu) but Josh nabbed some mayo on the side. I took some photos and we dug in.

My burger was almost rare. These people know what medium-rare really means. I was really impressed and that’s tough to do when it comes to proper cooking in Minnesota! The burger itself was pretty fucking good but I couldn’t taste the Canadian bacon or the cheese at all. While the meat was fantastic, I just wasn’t impressed with the toppings. Next time I would just order it plain. Kim’s burger was pretty fucking good too. The bacon was big and plentiful and had some great flavor but I couldn’t taste the cheese on that one either. I finished the entire burger (Kim did too but Josh only ate half) but I could have seriously used something else with the burger tonight. Kim suggested that they at least include chips with the burger to give it a bit more. While I am not sure what it needed (lettuce, tomato and onion) I definitely agree with Kim’s assessment.

When it was all said and done, including the two tiny ass tap beers I ordered, our bill came to $30.29 before tip. Not bad for the size of the burgers. I will definitely return some day to try out another burger and possibly the wings. There are plenty of other burger places that I want to try including another Dakota County restaurant (King’s Place in Miesville).

While both MSPD and I have eaten there, I would like to know what anyone else thinks of this place. Comment on!

Address:
House of Coates
16300 Clayton Ave E
Rosemount, MN 55068

Phone:
651-437-2232

Check out all the pictures on Flickr here.

On our way home today, I looked over to where the long defunct Blimpie Subs and Salads was located along Cedar and noticed a large yellow sign in the window for Johnny’s Chicago Style Beef and Hotdogs. In small text under that a quote reads, “Our dogs make friends.”

Several young people were inside, sitting on the floor, and looked as if they were getting the location ready for the new business. I probably should have stopped in an asked for some more information but with Kim needing to get home and Buddy boy needing to get fed, we headed straight back home.

I can’t find any other information and if anyone has any details, please post below!